Two in the Bush

Ha! I didn't post on Saturday. I was testing you. And 25 of you win. Because 25 people checked on Saturday anyway. Hey thanks. The rest of you suck.

So in the past I've ranted about bird related things, such as the saying "kill two birds with one stone" and today I have another bird related phrase to shout about, no big surprise there.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

Well first, wtf is our problem with birds? We really had it out for those little bastards at one point in time. Apparently all we did was sit around and talk about birds.

The fuck is that. I don't know what kind of crazy shitbag was trying to figure out the value of birds in different contexts.

Like he ran around all day figuring this shit out. "Well one bird in a hand is worth two inside a bush, and two birds in a bush is worth about 4 inside a basket, now, birds in trees, they're worth about 1.5 birds in a hand but only 3 birds in a bush." Get a god damn job, because it sure as shit isn't counting birds.

A person should just be happy he caught a damn bird with his hands. That imagine that shit gets challenging.

Haven't they ever heard don't count your chickens before they hatch? This guy sounds like he was definitely trying to count his chickens. And who would of fucking guessed, that's about birds too.


Stop counting and comparing your birds and just enjoy the birds you have.


See what I did there? Yeah, I made it a metaphor, I told you this shit was getting fancy.