Apparently it's Scooter Braun's birthday today. If you don't know who that is, it's cool, neither did/do I.
But from what I gather he was the man who 'discovered' Justin Bieber on Youtube. I assume he's some sort of agent or something and blah blah blah everyone loves him because he found the boy wonder on the Youtube.
I know this because #happybirthdayscooter is currently 'trending' on twitter. Now, if this is all over your head I understand, because I wish I didn't know what any of it meant either. Oh God, please kill me.
I'll explain it for anyone who is lucky enough to have not gotten sucked into the hell that is twitter. SO here is how it goes down. People 'tweet' things, random shit, you know. And everyone is able to 'hashtag' topics and shit in that tweet if they so desire. A hashtag basically tags your tweet and any tweets with the same hashtag and makes it so if someone searched for it on twitter they can find all the tweets with the same hashtag on it. For example. I could go on and search #gameofthrones and a list of all the tweets that had #gameofthrones in it would magically appear so I could read all the comments people are making about GoT.
Now, when something is hashtag...ed enough it 'trends', meaning it one of the highest or most hashtaged things on twitter at the time. At least I'm fairly certain that's how this all works. Which makes it so whatevers big in the news or popular culture at the time tends to trend. Back when Charlie Sheen was all the biz, he trended, or when the tsunami hit Japan, that trended, etc. You get the idea.
ANYways. The reason I explained all of this is to complain about one God damned thing. #Happybirthdayscooter is currently trending because it's his birthday and millions of Bieb fans are thanking him for finding the Biebmeister.
I don't know why but something about that makes me want to burn down the world.
This man shouldn't be so well known. Because he is probably a behind the scenes kind of guy in the entertainment business. The only reason people know who he is is because he happened to discover the 9th wonder of the modern world. People are all celebrating his birthday because they love him and they love him because they love Beaver, I mean Bieber.
That's like if I celebrated George R.R. Martin's mother's birthday and thanked her for giving birth to Mr. Martin. Wouldn't that be a bit off to you? "Thanks George's mom, without you and your va-jay-jay we all would of never gotten to read this great book series decades down the road! Good Job!"
All the tweets for this Scooter guy are just thanking him for supplying the world with a teen pop sensation, hardly any are about his birthday at all, other than the hashtag they're tagged with. Wtf internet. Nobody would give a crap about this poor guy if he didn't give them B.
Or in my case, cool name Scooter, you asshole, what are you 7? I'll never forgive you for what you've done to me and to the world. Watch your back.
Showing posts with label Disappointment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disappointment. Show all posts
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Malaysia Was My Bitch
No offense to any Malaysians who read this. I know there might be a few?
So there I was last night dreaming away. Mostly various short dreams about stuff I'm not at liberty to mention. But then the last dream was a bit longer and more detailed in a very delightful way.
So I had started a small revolution in Malaysia with locals there who weren't happy with how things went. It had promise but really didn't seem like it was going to do anything major. The revolution ended up getting into the palace area of my (dream version of Malaysia's government). And I ended up pitted against it's main military leader in a fight that I was clearly the underdog in. I ended up getting lucky and winning the fight. So the "Queen" conceded the throne to me and I threw her off of a balcony thing overlooking the main mass of people, who had by then, collected in and around the Capital.
Don't judge me, it was some sort of tradition or cultural norm to apparently publicly execute the leader you replace, everyone else was fine with it, including the Queen. So don't make me out to be a sick bastard.
I then claimed the small but very beautiful crown. I preceded to throw the throne, which was a gorgeous but small wooden chair, over the same balcony to make a show of bravado or something like that. In which I was just going to have a bigger better thrown made for me later. I also threw the crown with the same idea but changed my mind and went down to get it.
I was determined to not be that leader who wastes all the money on personal things like extravagant crowns and personal wealth. I decided I was going to stick it out and actually try to help out Malaysia in the long run and get it out of whatever issues it was in that caused the people to revolt with me in the first place. The whole time I was dreaming it was actually all done in a fairly believable realistic way too. So it was kind of cool that way. By that I mean there wasn't flying monkeys, futuristic guns, incorrect gravity, or just any other crazy things. It was more or less just 'set' in the modern real world. I guess.
Either way. In the dream I was so pumped up and full of adrenaline at the fact I just became the leader of a country by somewhat random means. It was pretty wicked actually. Generals were talking to me and I was being shown around the palace. I was getting the low down on stuff. I was damn excited to rule.
And then I woke up in Bozeman, Montana, possibly more disappointed than I ever have been before.
...I didn't even get to the part where I all the prettiest of the Malaysian women throw themselves at me.
On a humorous side note. I was going to take a picture of the crown with my phone and send it to people and tweet it and other random stuff. As if the world wouldn't know if Malaysia was overthrown by some random American with no credentials at all. Like it would be news to the bros that I was in and now the ruler of a foreign country.
Which brings me to my final point. If any of you find yourself in and the ruler of a foreign country I expect a text declaring that fact. And I expect a seat in your government.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why Malaysia you might be asking? Well the answer is simple. There is no reason. My mind just picked a place. Malaysia was probably more likely in itself because through a good bro of mine I sort of know a handful of Malaysians so that probably influenced my brain in choosing that as the random country to conquer.
Again, I apologize to the Malaysians I may know or that may read this. But you know I would of put all you little shits in government positions. You are welcome for that. And you're welcome for how awesome I was about to make your country.
The moral of the story is, I now have a new dream/goal in life. Some day I'll do it for real...you watch your backs.
Good day.
So there I was last night dreaming away. Mostly various short dreams about stuff I'm not at liberty to mention. But then the last dream was a bit longer and more detailed in a very delightful way.
So I had started a small revolution in Malaysia with locals there who weren't happy with how things went. It had promise but really didn't seem like it was going to do anything major. The revolution ended up getting into the palace area of my (dream version of Malaysia's government). And I ended up pitted against it's main military leader in a fight that I was clearly the underdog in. I ended up getting lucky and winning the fight. So the "Queen" conceded the throne to me and I threw her off of a balcony thing overlooking the main mass of people, who had by then, collected in and around the Capital.
Don't judge me, it was some sort of tradition or cultural norm to apparently publicly execute the leader you replace, everyone else was fine with it, including the Queen. So don't make me out to be a sick bastard.
I then claimed the small but very beautiful crown. I preceded to throw the throne, which was a gorgeous but small wooden chair, over the same balcony to make a show of bravado or something like that. In which I was just going to have a bigger better thrown made for me later. I also threw the crown with the same idea but changed my mind and went down to get it.
I was determined to not be that leader who wastes all the money on personal things like extravagant crowns and personal wealth. I decided I was going to stick it out and actually try to help out Malaysia in the long run and get it out of whatever issues it was in that caused the people to revolt with me in the first place. The whole time I was dreaming it was actually all done in a fairly believable realistic way too. So it was kind of cool that way. By that I mean there wasn't flying monkeys, futuristic guns, incorrect gravity, or just any other crazy things. It was more or less just 'set' in the modern real world. I guess.
So besides the little badass crown I got I was also able to claim that main military leaders weapon and some other random stuff. It was all sort of just mine, especially because of the nature in which I came to power. It was sort of like one of those 'you get what you kill' type things.
Either way. In the dream I was so pumped up and full of adrenaline at the fact I just became the leader of a country by somewhat random means. It was pretty wicked actually. Generals were talking to me and I was being shown around the palace. I was getting the low down on stuff. I was damn excited to rule.
And then I woke up in Bozeman, Montana, possibly more disappointed than I ever have been before.
...I didn't even get to the part where I all the prettiest of the Malaysian women throw themselves at me.
On a humorous side note. I was going to take a picture of the crown with my phone and send it to people and tweet it and other random stuff. As if the world wouldn't know if Malaysia was overthrown by some random American with no credentials at all. Like it would be news to the bros that I was in and now the ruler of a foreign country.
Which brings me to my final point. If any of you find yourself in and the ruler of a foreign country I expect a text declaring that fact. And I expect a seat in your government.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why Malaysia you might be asking? Well the answer is simple. There is no reason. My mind just picked a place. Malaysia was probably more likely in itself because through a good bro of mine I sort of know a handful of Malaysians so that probably influenced my brain in choosing that as the random country to conquer.
Again, I apologize to the Malaysians I may know or that may read this. But you know I would of put all you little shits in government positions. You are welcome for that. And you're welcome for how awesome I was about to make your country.
The moral of the story is, I now have a new dream/goal in life. Some day I'll do it for real...you watch your backs.
Good day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)