Wednesday, July 27, 2011

You Know What's Apparently Stressful?

I'm just perusing all the news on the entire internet right? And I come across an article.

This article is initially intriguing and cool, it's about a Great White shark leaping onto a research boat and getting stuck onboard. Cool right?

But upon reading some quotes from researchers on the boat, I realized, these people can't be scientists, because they're just too fucking stupid. Here are two hilarious quotes that make me go REALLY!?!?! YA THINK!?!?

"Incredibly stressful" - Really dude? An eleven hundred pound killing machine leaping onto your medium sized research vessel was stressful? No. I don't believe you. That can't be.

"These sharks belong in the sea, they don't belong on land." - I don't even have anything to say to this one.

Other than I sincerely hope that he and his entire family get eaten by a bear. And I hope while he's dying via bear, he screams, "This bear doesn't belong in my house, he belongs in the forest."

That's what happens when you read BBC News. You get this shit. I'm almost upset at how stupid these quotes are. Two things that probably go without saying. Yes, half ton killing machines flying out of the water is probably a stressful situation to find yourself in, and yes, fish do belong in the water.

Well put researchers. How are those advanced degrees treating you?

You jackasses.


Don't forget to check out my personal blog if you care for a more personal glimpse into my personal life, personally.

Link should be at the top right, it's "Something Something Life"

Learn how to navigate web pages and go find it. Geezus.

Also, I might be posting the occasional gem on a friend's blog, it should be a good time. Stay tuned for that. I'll link the shit out of you if and when it happens. It should be GOLD. Peace.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Guess Who's Back, Back Again

Oh wow. Where to even start? Well I could start with enthusiastically imforming you that I'll be posting any of my personal type themed posts on my new blog for just such a purpose. So here it goes.

DID YOU KNOW!?!?!? That from now on I'll be posting any personal type entries on my new personal blog for just that purpose?!?! Well you do now. Bitches.


Minnesota's government shut down while I was there. Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Oh you, Minnesota, with your money issues and your solving those issues by shutting down the government and effectively losing more money. Great idea you guys. The liberals blame the conservatives and the conservatives blame the liberals. How completely unexpected. Who could of foreseen that turn of events.

Well. As I've always sort of just started saying. "It seems to me the last people we want in office, are politicians." Ironically enough. If you read that with the right amount of open mindedness it seems philosophical, I swear.

Do you ever makes notes to yourself that you read at a much later date and go, "WTF was I talking about?" thus making the note completely useless?

Oh you don't? Me either......

In other news. For those of you who didn't hear about it like a month ago when it apparently happened, gay marriage was legalized in New York. So for all you alternative-sexuals out there. Congratulations. I mean it. Way to win. Because in the end. When did it become my right as an American citizen to deny you the right to get married in the first place? I don't believe it ever was. So hats off to 'you people' getting what rights you rightfully deserve the rights too.

This is old news but I wanted to make the joke. It came to my attention a while ago that there is a Senator with the last name Wiener.

No, that's not all.

This Wiener guy, was sending pictures of his wiener via twitter, I think it was. But the important part to me was the fact that this man was being very ironic. In fact. So ironic it hurts. How much more foreshadowing can a name do? Next they'll be some headline titled. "Congressman Vehicularmanslaughter Kills a Family of 4 in a Car Accident" OH NO! IF ONLY WE WOULD OF KNOWN!?

Basically what I'm saying is, If your last name is Shoemaker and you're making shoes, I'm not real fucking surprised. Now if you're last name is Shoemaker and you shit bacon, that, that surprises me.

Also, Ryan Dunn, a minor celebrity from the show "Jackass" died sometime in the last couple months. Everyone's real sad. Except the people who heard he was intoxicated and going grossly over the speed limit, they're not as sad about it.

If you put a T between South Dakota it makes the acronym 'STD'?

Coincidence? I think not. Because traveling through South Dakota is sort of like having an STD. Except no matter how many antibiotics you take, South Dakota doesn't go away.

Oh and here's a link to the blog I made specifically so you didn't have to read the crap I'll be posting there, here, so you won't have to go, ugh, I have to read all this? Or wow, that's not funny at all, the one, the only, Something Something Life