It's Not My Fault I Swear

If you kind and generous readers would please excuse my absence, that would be great, thanks.

You see, I tried to post a few times, and even tried posting via text with some mobile blog thing, but I botched that pretty hard and lately my internet has been kind of a dildo. So all apologies aside, Bresnan, my internet service provider, is in dire need of a small office fire. IfyouknowwhatImean.

The results for the poll are here! As small a number as there was that actually voted, it was 9-5 in favor of Jennifer Lopez over Kim Kardashian. Yes that's correct, as a small number of us decided, J-Lo is still the Queen of Badonk. Speaking of which, did anyone actually notice that I used 9 different words for the Gluteus Maximus in that post? I feel like that fact wasn't appreciated nearly enough. I referred to those poor women's rear ends in 9 different ways and not so much as a single comment from someone who appreciates such a thing.

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So at the place of my employment we have been recently informed that in the coming weeks we have "mandatory overtime". Now, I'm not sure what the rules are, but that made me chortle. It just seems like one of those things, you know, like paid volunteering, and whatnot. Can they even do that? I feel like they shouldn't be able too, but I guess they can. Not that I care, the Gods know I need the money, but still, tis made me laugh.

So how about that Charlie Sheen? Nah, I'm kidding, that would be way too easy. Apparently he has "Tiger Blood" and is constantly "Winning". I'm not sure what contest he is in that he's winning, but where do I sign up? I hear he's looking for a new intern for some reason, I was thinking, wouldn't that be a great job? Interning for a mentally unstable Charlie Sheen? That shit would probably look awesome on a resume AND I'm sure he shares his expensive drugs, so that would probably totally make up for the sexual abuse that would most assuredly happen to you.

Not to be a heretic or anything, but I was at church the other day, and Father Leo, great guy, was going on about loving thy enemy and all that jazz. It got me thinking,  and try to follow this mathematically and logical please. So here it is. If we sin and are bad Christians, that in a way, makes us God's enemies, right? Because he sends us to hell, and you sure as heck don't send friends to hell. So if that proves true, it follows that he is in no way, shape, or form, loving his enemies, you know what I mean? Or else he wouldn't send sinners to hell. It seems suspiciously hypocritical. Just saying. So he wants us, lowly humans, to be righteous enough to love our enemies, but him, as God, the omnipotent all powerful being, isn't expected to love his? I figure if anyone was about to love his enemy, it would be God.

I'll let you know if I find anything good on the interwebs, so you mind your own business and relax.