The Nines

Have you ever watched "Dora the Explorer"? Well you know how the have that little monkey in boots. Wtf is up with that? Why would you put a monkey in boots, how inconvenient for that monkey. God forbid it has to climb anything because it would be F'ed. What if a ground dwelling natural predator was all up in it's business? It would normally scamper up a tree, I'd like to see that F'ing monkey scamper anywhere in those big ass shit-kickers. That makes Dora a murderer, and probably a slut too.

I was thinking about it, and cats. Cats not only have, but also are, furry little assholes. They're just not generally kind or friendly animals. They're rude, they ignore you, they don't sympathize with you like dogs do, they make everything smell like piss. What little fuzzy pricks. 

So I watched this movie last night. It was an independent, writer directed, low budget film staring Ryan Reynolds. If that doesn't pique your interest enough, nothing really will. Either way it was called "The Nines".

On the off chance you plan on watching it, this is officially a spoiler alert. Right here.

So it basically comes down to this, Ryan Reynolds is several different characters on different but slightly related story-lines. Strange stuff happens, the number 9 keeps popping up, and its confusing. It turns out that Ryan's character is a Demi-God who invented the world and all the people in it, much like a video game, and is "playing" several characters in that game, being the three different scenarios he is seen in. It turns out he is addicted to this "game" world he created and gets lost in it and forgets what he is, thus the premise of the movie, him finding out all of this by the end. So yeah, just a dude who's a "nine" which is a being lower than God "10" but higher than humans "7". They said something about Koalas are 8's or some bullshit and they can read minds, but yeah. Ryan was a god thing that forgot he was in a reality that he completely created in his own mind and played much like a game of Sims. I swear they even references the little diamond things that Sims have above their heads at one point. It was weird but kind of neat. As a person who enjoys himself a video game on occasion I guess the parallels they were drawing between the world Ryan was in, and a potential video game world, was kind of neat, just how they said he was "playing" characters and blah blah blah. Twasn't bad for a movie I'd never heard of, starts slow though, and takes a bit to actually intrigue you.