I'm Not Pointing Fingers Here, But Piss Off

Hey Hey Hey! That was of course a joke, you don't actually have to piss off. Unless you really want too, but who would want that? What kind of sick freak are you? This is totally the intro to my epic return to blogging. Despite the fact that I haven't really been gone that long, and I'm sure nobody even noticed. But regardless. Don't argue with me. You shits.

Anyways, so yes it does occur to me that I haven't posted in a millennia or two but, like all the other times I've disappointed you, I'll say this, get off my back. I was busy with, tons of important stuff and...yeah. Just busy in a totally manly way and all. I sure as hell wasn't being foolish, stupid, bitchy, emotional, or moody. That's EXACTLY what I was not doing. Not this guy! So mind your own damn business.

So to summarize what would most likely end up as a long pointless rant, I'm back, but I'm not going to lie to you all any longer, I'm not going to be daily like I kind of sort of was maybe in the beginning. I'm going to say like bi-weekly maybe? Something like that? Would you guys like that? Would you? Who's a good boy!? Who's a good boy!? You are!!!

But really.

Where the fuck does Pat Sajak get off selling vowels? What a complete douche, what a turd sandwich, what a punk ass.Who died and give him the right to go around selling vowels for outrageous prices? Double-You Tee Eff. Plus, Vanna White has a really big head compared to the rest of her body, what's up with that? Ewww.

Did anyone else hear that J-Lo is People's Magizene's sexiest woman for 2011? Go team J-Lo. I knew I was a big fan for a reason, ever since I was like 12. Coincidence? Nah. Can't be.

And another thing! I swear I had more stupid shit to say today, at work I was all over it. I was totally on the stupid shit to bring up ball today.

If your name is Joe please leave now.

I kid though. Don't go Joe. Just die. I mean what? Who? I didn't what? No way.

On a less random and cynical note. I suppose this is where I'd mention stuff about myself. You know. What I'm up too, what I'm doing, some plans I have that are semi related to this blog. Etc. So that being the case, I might try my hand at every different type of writing, for funsies. Like I'm going to start writing a really shitty book, just to try it, I might write some really shitty song lyrics, just to suck ass at it, maybe an article or two, maybe some poetry, maybe even a research type paper thing, who the frak knows? I'll just go crazy. It'll be a good time.

Speaking of you people, really? Who the hell has been waiting around for 2 und heif weeks for me to post again? Shouldn't you all be gone? Or had have given up? What kind of sad lives do you live that you've actually been waiting for me to post again about my own sad life. Get a hobby.

I mean that with love of course.

Expect my next post to be...what do you think? Like Monday or something? We should decide this right now. What days I update. Lets have a little pow-wow about it and everything. Okay, since I don't have time to wait around for you all to not answer my question, I'll decide like Monday and Thursday? Good idea me. I get a golden star. You all get to ***** with a **** and ***** off.

p.s. I had to add this, which was not in my original post.

First of all. I forgot to mention. The wisdom teeth thing went absolutely wonderful. Turns out I'm super human and didn't feel any pain afterwards, didn't need to take any of my drugs, and my jaw healed up really quick and everything went super perfect. It's like I'm a jaw-healing-machine. Wouldn't that be a shitty super power? Healing jaws quickly? Man that would blow.

Also, I want to say, looking in the blogs stats, there is a section of things people searched for on google that brought them here. Some of those things are just god damned hilarious. Here are some examples...

"awards for doing drugs, I'd have a shit ton." - My favorite.

"if a tree falls on a priest?" - Also pretty good

"what's more than a shit tons?" - Not great but still kind of a funny question. And I answered it.

"ray william johnson shitton fuckload" - A fun RayWilliamJohnson reference, he is Youtube famous.